My Introductory Letter
Dear Professor
Brad,
I hope this
letter finds you well. I am Benedict Chiang, and am currently in your UCS1001
class, S21. I would like to take this opportunity to provide a brief
introduction of myself, share my thoughts on communication, and outline my
goals for this module.
I graduated
from Ngee Ann Polytechnic, with a diploma in automation mechatronics &
systems. My time in polytechnic deepened my passion for engineering,
particularly in the field of automation and robotics. I continued with the path
of engineering and am pursuing a degree in mechanical engineering at the
Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT) in hopes of furthering my knowledge in
engineering, as well as sharpening my expertise. I am excited to gear myself
with engineering skills which could be used to solve practical problems in a
real-world context. Moreover, I’d like to further my studies after SIT, to attain
a Master of Business Administration degree. As I believe that an engineering
student with business knowledge will set me apart from other people.
I would say
that communication is a key skill in engineering, and I have both areas of strengths
and room for improvement in this domain. One of my strengths lies in my ability
to communicate with new people. I am confident in my ability to initiate
conversations and create a comfortable group dynamic, which I hope to refine
further in this module. During polytechnic, I often broke the ice with peers I
hadn’t met before, as we were often assigned to work with classmates we weren’t
familiar with for projects. This helped us to work more harmoniously and
effectively as a team, without awkwardness or tension.
While I feel
confident in my interpersonal communication skills, I recognize that my written
communication, especially technical writing is an area where I need
improvement. Therefore, my main goal for this module is to improve the clarity,
conciseness, and organization of my technical writing, as this would be beneficial
for my future career in the engineering field. During my internship at Collins
Aerospace in polytechnic, I realized that my written communication could
sometimes lack clarity and structure. An example of that is when I am drafting
a technical report, I tend to go off track and therefore neglect the main
points of the report. I aim to apply skills learned from this module and
actively seek feedback to enhance the structure and clarity of my technical
reports. I am excited to improve my writing proficiency to prepare myself for a
professional setting in the future. Thank you for your time. I look forward to
learning more from your classes.
Yours
sincerely,
Benedict
Commented on Benjamin, Zhi Xian and Muzaffar's post.
Thank you for sharing more about yourself Benedict. Overall, I think that you did a great job in sharing your background and goals.
ReplyDeleteHere are two constructive feedbacks that I believe could be beneficial for you. Firstly, you could be more specific on how you are going to improve on your technical handling skills. An example would be setting aside time, in order to practice writing regularly. I feel that this will allow your letter to stand out more.
My second feedback would be improving on the minor grammar mistakes. For instance, "gear myself with engineering skills" could be written more clearly as "equip myself with engineering skills."
In summary, I feel that with a bit of editing, your email will certainly be clearer and more impactful.
Thank you Muz for the feedback. I will look into my grammatical errors as well as improving my clarity on my letter.
DeleteHello Benedict Chiang, thank you for sharing about yourself with us.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading through your letter, I felt that it effectively introduces yourself and provides a clear sense of your background, goals, and reflections on communication skills. The personal background is relevant, showing a strong connection to the field of engineering. The discussion of communication skills is thoughtful, detailing both strengths and areas for improvement. In addition, the letter is well-organized, with a clear structure that includes an introduction, a detailed background, thoughts on communication, and goals for the module.
Overall, the letter is well-crafted and conveys its message clearly in terms of its content.
Hi Benjamin, thank you for the feedback.
DeleteHi Benedict, thank you for introducing yourself to us!
ReplyDeleteHaving read through your letter, I feel that it reflects well on your mindset, especially on your future ambitions in furthering your studies for a Masters in Business Administration. Some constructive feedback for your introduction would be
that the email is generally concise and clear, but some parts could be slightly simplified for clarity. You could also specify how you plan to improve your technical skills, or showing a more direct connection on how Professor Brad's class will aid you in achieving your goals.
Other than that, it is fairly well written, with a clear structure, outlining your goals and ambitions!
Thank you Zhi Xian for the feedback. I will take note of the constructive feedback that you gave and I will continue to work on and improve my letter.
DeleteDear Benedict,
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for this articulate, well organized and informative letter. You have addressed all the key points and elaborated with fine detail. I'm particularly impressed by how you describe your strength in interpersonal communication and how you connect that with your ability to align with partners in project team work. Of course, such a set of skills will be of great value here at SIT and in the future in the workplace.
I also enjoyed learning about the challenges you faced in terms of writing reports in your internship.
If there is anything to improve on in a 2nd draft of this letter, it might be the fragment in this section of text:
Moreover, I’d like to further my studies after SIT, to attain a Master of Business Administration degree. As I believe that an engineering student with business knowledge will set me apart from other people.
Do you see the (minor) problem?
I look forward to learning more about you this term.
Best wishes,
Brad